The problem with fear is, it tricks me into making a giant leap to global negativity.
It sells me on the story that when I make a mistake or miss the mark or get a bad result, it’s proof that I’m not good enough.
And so, when a coworker tells me that my idea doesn’t work, or when my client sends back a draft covered in red pen, I immediately fear for my job. I start running scenarios in my head about how people have found me out and it’s all over and I’m going to wind up penniless, pathetic and alone.
Of course, none of this is true.
It’s all just a fantasy relationship I’ve built inside my head, using fear as the foundation.
That’s why one of the practices I’m working on is treating myself with compassion when I fail. Accepting that I was challenged beyond my ability and I did the best I could. And reminding myself of a few key truths.
I have the right to make mistakes.
I am valuable even when I make them.
I will quickly convert those mistakes into lessons and lessons into habits.
I have a system for failing gracefully without bringing down everything else around me.
I will continue to treat myself well after each loss, rewarding a good attempt and the right behaviors.
Take that, fear. Thanks for stopping by, but for today, your services will no longer be needed.
Want to act towards yourself with greater and gentler compassion and understanding? Try this.
Instead being haunted by recollections of your mistakes, shocking yourself into immobility by irrational fears, zoom out of your failure for a moment. Stop rehearsing your fears and taking them for reality.
And remind yourself that it’s just another story. It makes life so much lighter.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
Are you trying to escape fear, or transform it into a companion that accompanies you in all your adventures?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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