Giving up the reputation that you’re a good person who makes smart choices

And then, what might be possible for you?

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If we’re both trying to look good in front of each other, this won’t work.

If we’re both denying our vulnerability to maintain face, this won’t work.

If we’re both hiding behind the convincing facade of effectiveness, this won’t work.

If we’re both addicted to the image of ourselves as being fine, this won’t work.

Only when we finally break free of the constant pressure to perform can we build deep connection and true intimacy. Only when we accept that it’s okay not to be okay can we grow together.

Those are the words I wish I would have said hundreds of times.

But I never had the courage. I was too busy putting on a show for people. Angels on the rise, wearing human guise, playing dress up as they walk out unrecognized.

Which reminds me of a provocative but practical book about how couples can create lasting intimacy and passion. The sex therapists who created the program wrote about the honeymoon period, in which you and your partner are generally on your best behavior, marketing yourselves with everything you’ve got, downplaying your challenges and basking in the delight of someone seeing you as amazing and perfect.

The funny thing is, that not only happens romantically, but also professionally.

Colleagues and coworkers fight this battle every single day. Never making room for each other’s flaws. Refusing to accept and reveal their own flaws. And feeling like a failure anytime they fall short of the fantasy.

Just ask any comedian who’s ever done a corporate gig. Their normally hilarious routines about how naïve and incompetent and awkward they are as human beings, won’t get laughs at the company sales conference.

Because no employee wants to admit in front of their colleagues that they can relate to that. After all, they’re professionals. addicted to their outer shell, and without that costume, they feel vulnerable.

And understandably, nobody wants to lose their job. But what if we offered a gift to others by being courageously vulnerable and showing the more tender aspects of who we are?

The joy of being seen and felt and heard in that moment is deeply liberating.

Enough with the performances. Drop the façade and try being real for once. Tell the truth when most people would say nothing and watch what happens.

Once you liberate yourself from keeping up with the reputation that you’re a good person who makes smart choices and knows what they’re doing, what might be possible for you?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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