Invalidation infuriates me.
It makes me feel small and worthless.
Anytime someone rejects my basic experience, saying or implying that my emotions are wrong, inappropriate or not okay, the eight year old version of myself shrinks to the size of a peanut.
Here are a few of my greatest hits from the invalidation catalogue.
When people dismiss, discount, diminish or deny my history.
When people criticize and shame me for my innate emotional state.
When people reject, ignore and judge my thoughts and feelings.
When people accuse my interpretations of things around me as being bad or wrong.
We people trivialize my true feelings by using them as raw material for their passive aggressive jokes.
When people make cutting comments under the excuse of just kidding.
When people imply that my desires are wrong, stupid and not worth considering.
When people make me feel worse about myself for having brought something up in the first place.
These are the invalidating interactions that trigger a surge of rage inside me.
And that’s okay. After all, judging my own anger in these situations would only invalidate myself further. The key is acceptance and recognition. Knowing the roots of my rage. Sitting with those feelings.
And also having a menu of healthy outlets for discharging that rage out of my body.
LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you feel when people reject your internal experience as real, valid and understandable?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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