Nov 28, 2020

2 min read

How do you perpetuate your own disconnection and loneliness?

It’s a tough nut to crack

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Certain people are suspicious of all people.

They go out of their to find all sorts of reasons to write others off. And unfortunately, they’re usually right. Confirmation bias is a very powerful thing. When they encircle someone with suspicion, the idea of trust just starts to dissipate within that person. They prove themselves right every time.

And so, they just keep soldiering on with fierce independence, never learning to take the risk of trusting another human being.

The question is, would you rather be right or be lonely?

Because in the case of trust, that’s the often the cost. What we gain in ego we lose in connection.

Fact is, there is no magic moment when all suspicion will be forever laid to rest. Especially if you have a history of being hurt or abandoned, trust does not come naturally. It’s a tough nut to crack.

First, because trust is about surrendering control. It means making yourself vulnerable to another person’s actions.

Second, because trust is about expressing neediness. It means reaching out to depend on and see others as the source of good things.

And finally, because trust is about actively engaging with the unknown. It means demanding less and less certainty from life.

However, none of those risks are worse than being lonely.

Not sure about you, I don’t want to fear humans. I prefer to think the best of people, to see everyone as good until proven otherwise, in the hopes that my belief will encourage them to reveal their better selves.

Frankly, it’s less work. Better to be occasionally disappointed than to walk around with my guard up all the time. Shields are heavy. My arms aren’t that strong.

Hunkering down into the awful safety of loneliness always seems like a good idea at first, until you realize that you’ve been watching television for seven straight hours without interacting with another human being.

How do you perpetuate our own disconnection and loneliness?