Odds are good that it’s not about you

Each of us resides at a nexus

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When a prospect I’m trying to close falls of the face of the earth, my first instinct is to internalize.

To blame myself for not being talented enough or interesting enough or valuable enough to be earn their callback.

And this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Internalization and assuming responsibility and finding ways to make things my fault has proven to be a helpful technique for motivating growth.

But in the spirit of being kind to myself in small, concrete ways, I’ve been reminding myself that factors other than me can cause delay. Each human being rests at the nexus of a vast number of interwoven causes and conditions, most of which are out of their control, that influence their behavior.

And so, if it’s been three weeks and I still haven’t heard back, perhaps that prospect is fighting a battle that I know nothing about. Maybe their board meeting was postponed until next month. Or maybe they didn’t get their grant money yet.

Doesn’t matter. This line of thinking takes me out of my own head. It injects a healthy dose of compassion, empathy and humility. And it reminds me that I’m rarely anyone else’s first order of business.

The point is, too much internalization can become a form of torture. Next time the universe suddenly seems to stop cooperating with you, try looking somewhere other than mirror.

Because odds are good that it’s not about you.

What factors other than you might be the cause of delay?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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