Unrequited love is the folly of suckers and maniacs.

It’s true. The universe is not built to care about us.

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The fact that the universe is not built to care about us, the fact that our deepest dreams are often met by silence, the fact that the door of the world is regularly slammed in our face with heartless indifference, and the fact that many of us feel like biological riff raff spinning senselessly on a tiny rock in a corner of an uncaring universe, none of these realties have to make us cynical or hopeless.

They can actually become vehicles of liberation. It’s simply a matter of perspective.

If we accept the fact that most people are not aware of our photography blog, and that the ones who are aware of it probably won’t read it, and the ones who do read it are going to love it no matter what, then why are we killing ourselves trying compose the perfect article that will placate some invisible jury that we will never meet?

Better to just write what we love, press the publish button and get on with our day.

If we accept the fact that the organizations to whom we are submitting our resumes are bombarded daily with literally thousands of other qualified candidates, and they most likely going to either promote from within or extend the job offer to an applicant who happens to be a friend the boss’s son, then why would we spend three hours crafting the cover letter?

This is not about being cynical, this about setting boundaries. Making peace with the indifference of the universe in order to unshackle ourselves from a metric fuck ton of pointless emotional and physical labor.

Attachment researchers have a helpful term for this.

Over investing. It’s when we devote too much of our emotions in a losing situation the risk of draining away our own resourcefulness. It’s when the investment we put in is disproportionate to both the value of what something is actually worth, and the probability of its reciprocation.

There’s a hilarious tshirt that summarizes it perfectly:

Sorry I can’t be there for you, but I used all of my coping skills to emotionally over invest in television shows.

It’s true. The universe is not built to care about us.

But this is our key to liberation, if we allow it to be. Let us put boundaries in place that help us not to over care. Let us not emotionally over invest in losing situations and make inappropriate attachments.

Unrequited love is the folly of suckers and maniacs.

Are you harboring a deeply irrational desire for everyone you meet to share your same dream?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.

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