Creating a boundary can be as simple as stating what you want.
Which can initially feel like an intimidating task, but once you start speaking up, you quickly learn that the world doesn’t tilt on its axis every take you make your needs known.
More often than not, you simply get want you want and everyone involved is completely pleasant about it.
When I was about twelve years old, my older brother used to bust into my room unannounced, even when the door was locked.
Usually he just wanted to borrow some of my clothes or play one of my video games. But that didn’t make it okay. I still felt like my privacy had been violated.
And so, one day after school, I decided to ask my mother if we could stop by the hardware store to buy one of those chain lock door fasteners. I was terrified. Because I had never asked for anything like that before.
And in my mind, a chain lock was this expensive, complicated mechanical device that required measuring and drilling holes and possibly hiring subcontractors.
Plus my brother would hate it.
But to my surprise, my mother thought it was a brilliant idea. In fact, she was proud of me for taking a stand and taking action in support of my needs.
Nine dollars and ten minutes later, the lock was installed and my privacy was restored. The boundary had been set. And from that moment on, every time my brother tried to bust into my room without permission, the chain rattled against the wood as if to say, this is not okay.
More than twenty years later, that chain is still on my door.
Proving, that the quickest and easiest way to eradicate feelings of powerlessness is to make choices.
That’s where empowerment lives. In that crucial moment when we decide and act, not just stand and ruminate.
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How can you create a boundary by stating what you want?
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That Guy with the Nametag
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